The Mission school'd.

It goes something like this...

Chain stores: You seem quite hostile.

SF: You talkin' to me?

Far more entertaining than a Board of Supes debate is Guillermo Gómez-Peña's "El Corazón de la Mission". Hop about The Mexican Bus for a guided audio tour of San Francisco's Mission District -- from fallen labor leaders of the 1930s to testosterone-driven low-riders of the 1980s. While guzzling tequila, you will also be entertained by live performances from Violeta Luna and David Molina.

Upcoming shows are May 24 and June 14.  Tours depart from Galería de la Raza. Tickets for "El Corazón de la Mission" are $25 wet (includes tequila toasts), $20 dry (under 21, no tequila). To reserve 'em, phone  415-863-2441.